1st Appointment Anxiety

My first OB appointment finally feels like it's within reach -- a week from tomorrow. It's funny, because ever since finding out I was pregnant, time seems to have completely stopped!

They say this whole pregnancy thing teaches you patience, and I'm already seeing why. You wait two weeks for your BFP, you wait weeks for your first doctor visit, you wait nine months for your little one. I should really learn to enjoy this time, because I'm told once the baby is here, time is gone in an instant. I'm struggling with the aspect of enjoying this time though, probably because it's filled (at least for me), with a lot of worry (who me? worry??) and unknowns.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited for the first appointment. I think it will help make the whole thing really real to Gerrick and I, and I really hope we get to see a heartbeat! At this point (5w 4d) I don't really have a lot of symptoms and for the most part, feel just the same as I did two months ago. In some ways, I wish some symptoms would appear, because whadda ya know, no symptoms equals worry in my book. I'm sure the chances are better than not that our little one is perfectly fine, but in the back of my mind, I have big fears.

I probably (no, I do) read too much. I'm like one of those overloaded search engine people in the Bing commercials, for sure. I know some women go in and there's no heartbeat, or there's a yolk sack, but nothing in it. That's my biggest fear at this point. I also know, however, that finally getting to the first appointment will help me breathe a lot easier.

I have to remember that everything that happens from this point forward is in God's hands, not mine.